Thursday, June 14, 2018

In Between

Many times, I feel as if I'm between two cultures.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who experiences this.

Being born and raised in America by two parents who were born and raised in the Philippines is something that I appreciate and despise. I don't mean any of that in a political or socioeconomic sense, or anything else of that nature. (I tend to keep my own opinions of such things to myself.) I do mean that it feels like both a blessing and a curse when I'm trying to figure out who I am as a person.

Monday, June 4, 2018

A Weight Lifted

I did it. I actually did it.

I can’t believe how free I feel.

The advisement I had at CSUN made me realize where my motivations were. I already knew that being a radiologic technologist wasn’t my ultimate desire. I told my parents that I didn’t have a desire to pursue my bachelor’s at CSUN. There was too much money, too much time that I felt I couldn’t balance.

And despite how free I feel… I have no words.

Doubt’s telling me that I’ve made a mistake. That I’m throwing away security of my future for something that I should have no hand in. That the path my heart is pulling me towards is something that will bring me to ruin and failure.

But doubt was there when I was still following a plan I had no passion in. At least, not the amount of passion that such a condensed and rigorous course required.

This time, I finally heard my mother say it.

“I’m waiting for your book, Jodee.”

Now that is a challenge I’m willing to take.

Sunday, May 27, 2018

Starting to Start

I’ve been attending community college for five years. There are days that voice in my head telling me that, if there was opportunity for me somewhere, I’ve missed it years ago. Whether or not it’s considered conceited of me to have thoughts that if I haven’t made it into an Ivy League college on a full scholarship, finishing in four years, and having my life figured out by the age of twenty-two...

Well, despite the consensus on that, my annoying sense of ambition also has to deal with my annoying sense of doubt as well. It doesn’t help that I’m now past the age of twenty-two and doubt likes to tell me that if I hadn’t “made it” now, I won’t “make it” ever.

Saturday, January 20, 2018

Redenbacher's Revenge Scene 1 (A.K.A. the Play I Regret Writing For A Project)

During the Fall semester of 2017, I attended an English 101B class. One of the assignments was to write a play based on a given segment of the Greek play "Electra," but change the setting (film noire, pirates, mafia movie, etc). We were to work in a group.

The time crunch was horrible since my group was the first to present. Even worse was that I was the one to volunteer to write the dumb thing. I've written in screenplay format before. Stage play? Never did it, and I'm 100% sure I did things wrong, but the professor didn't care so much about format as long as it was readable and stayed consistent throughout the script.

I was pleased to see that people enjoyed the bizarre humor of my group (since they were the ones to give me suggestions of what to write in our play). All that stress and frustration of having so few rehearsal days due to schedule conflicts paid off on the day it mattered most, at least.

For some context, this play is based off of the segment in "Electra" where the Tutor goes to deliver the news of Electra's brother, Orestes, and his "death" up until Chrysothemis (Electra's sister) and Electra discuss their further plans about what to do now that their hope in their brother is gone.

What the group wanted: Set it in the Wild West, include aliens, Orville Redenbacher because popcorn is awesome, dumb instrument playing, and really cheesy accents. Jokes were a collaboration between the whole group so I can't claim everything humorous to be completely of my own doing.

This is scene 1 of 4 (the rest will come at a later date):

Untitled (Because I Never Thought to Think of One)

This has been sitting in my "drafts" for the longest time. Might as well do something with it, eh? I believe it was something I was experimenting with, and I'm not sure if I like it or not. For some context, I wrote this when I was very muddled with my emotions and I think it's somewhat safe to say that I'm a lot more stable, thank goodness.

This really needs a lot of work, but whatever, hahaha.

Tuesday, November 14, 2017

Update (With Included Word Count) - 14 November 2017

In regards to writing:

It's been a while since I've been posting here regularly. I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss it. Anyway, I think I've come to a relatively stable point in my (not really enjoyable) management of my depression where I can finally start writing on this blog more (or less) regularly. It was a real bummer not to be able to write practically anything for a while, and my previous post for that new story idea pretty much came from a lot of frustration of that inability to write.

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

The Fairy Godfather: Excerpt of an Idea that Still Needs Work

I'm likely not going to use these specific scenes, but then again with a bit of tweaking I might find it useful enough in the plot at some point. This was mainly an exercise to develop each character's voice and deciding on what point of view I wanted to write in. I haven't quite decided, but I think I settled on the voices at least. Considering on how much I like this, this post might get taken down so I don't get paranoid of someone stealing my idea, hahaha.

And, as per my usual (though I may or may not have made it apparent before) the story is pretty dark. I really like it though, and I've actually done more planning on this plot than I've ever done with any other plot, so it's an interesting change.

Working title: “The Fairy Godfather”

General idea/synopsis (this also needs a bit of rephrasing): Villains don't get ‘happily ever afters,’ or fairy godmothers to help them get one, except in the case of Derrick and Hemlock. It's probably a good thing Hemlock is a godfather, not a godmother.