Tuesday, November 14, 2017

Update (With Included Word Count) - 14 November 2017

In regards to writing:

It's been a while since I've been posting here regularly. I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss it. Anyway, I think I've come to a relatively stable point in my (not really enjoyable) management of my depression where I can finally start writing on this blog more (or less) regularly. It was a real bummer not to be able to write practically anything for a while, and my previous post for that new story idea pretty much came from a lot of frustration of that inability to write.

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

The Fairy Godfather: Excerpt of an Idea that Still Needs Work

I'm likely not going to use these specific scenes, but then again with a bit of tweaking I might find it useful enough in the plot at some point. This was mainly an exercise to develop each character's voice and deciding on what point of view I wanted to write in. I haven't quite decided, but I think I settled on the voices at least. Considering on how much I like this, this post might get taken down so I don't get paranoid of someone stealing my idea, hahaha.

And, as per my usual (though I may or may not have made it apparent before) the story is pretty dark. I really like it though, and I've actually done more planning on this plot than I've ever done with any other plot, so it's an interesting change.

Working title: “The Fairy Godfather”

General idea/synopsis (this also needs a bit of rephrasing): Villains don't get ‘happily ever afters,’ or fairy godmothers to help them get one, except in the case of Derrick and Hemlock. It's probably a good thing Hemlock is a godfather, not a godmother.

Saturday, September 2, 2017

Lack of Inspiration vs. A Serious Problem

To put it simply, the past few weeks have been difficult. My depression progressively worsened, I had a bit of a breakdown, hit a low point, got rescued from said breakdown by an officer, and because of said breakdown I was put on a 72-hour hold for the second time in my life, which was then extended for a few more days before the psychiatrist deemed me stable enough to leave just a few days ago.

I missed a few days of school, I did a lot of introspection, some soul-searching.

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Sabotage by Topiary - Experimental Scene Thing (Work in Progress)

For some context, this is just me fooling around with a backstory that didn't make it into the cut of The Blighted Earth, and a character I was hoping to introduce a lot later in the plot. This is very much a work in progress, but I've decided to post it just to get something outside of the draft pile. One day, maybe I'll finish this short-event-in-the-backstory-post. Regardless of whether or not that happens, it helped me with writing the characters in the actual plot.

Monday, August 14, 2017

Word Count Monday - 14 August 2017

This is going to be a shorter post than usual because I should be getting to sleep for the first day of classes tomorrow. But I couldn't because then my brain reminded me that I haven't done this for the week yet and if I didn't I'd just forego sleep altogether.

What am I working on?

Just like last week, I'm not going to be putting a word count. However, this time I've been working on a whole lot of things. I've been working on a short narrative during my emotional slump trying to get it all out. It ended up being told in a sort of disjointed form, a bit experimental on how the scenes are delivered. I'm going to post it here later since I like where it's going, though I'm sure the formatting is going to be a bit off-putting for many. In short, it's an unnatural way of reading things, but it just felt so natural for me to write it that way. Maybe it's because it kinda reflects how my mind goes through thoughts and ideas.

I've also started yet another blog, but this time it's related to the in-game hijinks my online group and I get into in the fictional world our game characters are set in, namely because I'm still the unofficial videographer. I'm a horrible video editor, but I do have experience with writing, so I went that route instead. Once I get things formatted on the other blog, I just might share a link to it. Then again, maybe not.

I've also been writing short scenes to help me plan the overall feel of my future-project-that-is-just-for-fun-but-a-bit-more-serious-than-the-last-one. I've gotten feedback from some of my audience about the little bits and pieces of a world I'm creating (yet again) and how things work and how things are different from the real world. They seem to like it despite it being a lot darker than what I've usually written. I think my current project is aimed more for 12-15 year-olds or something like that, while the future one is going to be more for 17 or 18+.

How do I feel about the process?

I feel like I'm finally getting out of that two-month slog through a marsh. I can breathe easier, my brain is firing on all cylinders again. And because of this, my writing has gone all over the place. While I could barely write anything last time, this time I'm ping-ponging everywhere and I'm not even exhausted. Probably not normal. But considering that I'm absolutely not allowed to have coffee to energize, any bit of excess energy for me to work on anything is great.

This may or may not have something to do with classes starting. Not sure.

What am I reading?

I've looked over some of my textbooks for my new classes and I have so say that I'm trying to pump myself up for it. Part of me is dreading my English class because of my experiences in the past. Funny how I love to write, but I'm terrible at English. The same could be said about how I hate doing math and science, but those are my strongest subjects in school. Life just wasn't meant to be easy, was it?

What else am I doing?

Trying to hype myself up for school. It's not working, but at least I'm not dreading it. I'm still trying to procure a job, too, and all the rejections are still getting me down. But at least my depression won't make it feel like it's the end of the world anymore. I'm so over that. So annoying to deal with.

Saturday, August 5, 2017

Word Count Saturday - 4 August 2017

Oops, forgot to take time out to make a post earlier in the week.

What am I working on?

Well, last week I completed my July Camp NaNoWriMo word count.

It was a meager goal, only 15k words for the month, but considering how much I'm just trying to weather through this rather long bout with my depression (according to my calendar it's almost two months now? Sheesh), I'm not complaining. And despite the lack of motivation, I have been able to come up with the beginnings of another plot idea. I'm going to keep it on the back-burner though. I'll likely work on it when: a) my other projects are done, or b) I get hit with a surge of unending energy and focus and inspiration that I can't keep myself from working on a lot of things at once.

Though, just in case I lose my journal that has all of my ideas (good and bad), I'll leave myself with a one-word reminder: "candlelight."

As for the word count itself... I'm not giving one because for some reason it's just too much effort to load up all the things I worked on and calculate how much I typed out (or not) on top of what's already there. I'm not feeling it this week.

How do I feel about the process?

As a quick preface, I like to imagine an alter-ego of myself living out a representation of my current mood. Like if I'm really happy, I'm imagining her flying around and feeling the breeze around her face. Or when I'm angry and the imaginary world she lives in is breaking into pieces and melting into lava to form a volcano. Weird stuff like that. Dunno, it's just something I've done since I was a child. It's fun.

(Note to self: might need to get that checked. Not sure if that's normal.)

Lately, that alter-ego is just walking in the middle of the night in a cold desert. Sometimes she sees the stars and can point out the constellations. Other times, like at the very second that I'm typing this out, nothing's out and all she is is just lonely and cold.

(Not sure what's up with me and trying to get all symbolic, but I'm getting words out and it's working so I'm not going to question it too much.)

Because of this, I haven't done much writing this week, at least nothing that I feel like bringing up just to get the work count on in and calculate it. It just feels like so much work at the moment.

Then again, it's hard to write when every time you send in an application to try to get a job and after every single rejection letter or rejection call, that evil little voice inside likes to rear its ugly head and say, "See? No one wants you. You're pathetic. You can't even get a minimum-wage job. You're not worth it. Just give it up."

You know what? Shut up, voice. No one asked you.

Ugh, I just want a break from the job hunting. It's seriously affecting my creativity and my poor muse just can't compete.

What am I reading?

Haven't done much reading. Still the same reading list.

What else am I doing?

Still job hunting. Trying to find a part-time job while being a full-time student with other responsibilities is... ce n'est pas amusant. I haven't given up, though. I'm still trying. But I feel like I'm slowly getting there.

O kidy zohjy loaa zudrag og O hry smpyjrt trkrvyopm. O kidy vsm'y yslr oy smuzptr. O sz dp idrardd, O'aa mrbrt szpimy yp smuyjomh.

Sunday, July 30, 2017

Monthly Showcase - July 2017

Only one project I did this month, and that was a poem. Fortunately (or unfortunately), there's lot of backstory behind its creation.

Wednesday, July 26, 2017

Word Count Wednesday - 26 July 2017

Things I worked on last week:
  • Chapter 14: 2319 words (completed at 3324 words)
  • Scene: 1458 words
Total word count: 3777 words

What am I working on?

I'm almost done with that sequel in my "terrible trilogy for funsies." Maybe five or six more chapters to go. So I'll be working on that to try to finish it before the new semester hits. I've also been having more moments where I'm just thinking up of scenes for my future project, so I've been just writing them out for my eyes only for the time being. Right now I have maybe two ideas "queued up" for me to work on. For some reason, typing out a 3000-word chapter will take me one week; but a 1000-word scene will take me maybe thirty minutes to an hour or so. Curious, that.

How do I feel about the process?

I'm both excited and sad that I'm finishing up my sequel. Excited, because it's so bad that while I'm writing it I just keep thinking, "I can do so much better, why do I even try with this thing?" Sad... well... I put a lot of work into it, had fun while writing it, interacting with the small audience I've gathered for it, and I've developed a fondness to its weirdness like it's that angelfish my family had that liked to eat its own eggs off the tank wall. (Yes, she did that. Yes, it was gross.) I'm a bit sad that it's going to end soon. However, I am also relieved that in a few weeks I can finally take a break from the trilogy and recuperate my brain. For some reason writing one chapter a week for that thing takes a lot out of me.

The scene-things, on the other hand, are a completely different story. I can finish those things in one sitting no problem. This might be a symptom where I'm growing tired of my longer project, or that the plot that I'm using these scenes to help me plan is actually well thought out.

Or it might just be that the plot is cathartic since it's dealing with much darker themes than my seemingly more light-hearted trilogy plans, which is saying something because that trilogy is lacking on the restraints for character deaths. Either way, I'm enjoying it, even if life is kinda mirroring what I'm writing at the moment.

Which brings me up to another thing that I find a bit amusing. It's either just me being really paranoid or hyper-analytical where my brain is perceiving something that isn't there or it's mere coincidence, but whenever I'm writing something, no matter how fictional it is, real life seems to reflect it especially if I'm thinking really hard about how I want the events to play out in a scene.

Like when a character's brother died, and I was trying to figure out how to write it since I've never experienced a similar loss or witnessed firsthand how people would react. A few days later my mom received word that her youngest brother passed away. Terrible, but at the same time while I was grieving for my uncle, I turned to writing to help me out, and the events that played out helped me write that scene with no issues.

Or when I was trying to figure out how to work the "budding romance" angle the readers begged me to try to work in, and how I was telling them that I have no idea how to write it out since never have I ever had anyone ever shown interest in me like that before, nor vice versa. Then boom, that happened, and it made both parties extremely flustered and awkward; and it proved to be very useful for helping me out with writing the romantic subplot. (Oh gosh, you know who you are, and if you're reading this I'm super sorry that I'm extremely aromantic otherwise and I'm glad you and I are finally on the same page.)

And other such things like that. It's either I'm psychic, or paranoid, or maybe cursed with unexplainable ways of beating writer's block (but I'm pretty sure just over-thinking). I'm not superstitious, but according to Philippine wives' tales, my birthmark suggests that I'm prone to unlucky things like curses; it's hard for those things not to come to mind when I can't think of a decent explanation as I'm dancing between awake and sleep in the middle of the night.

It does kinda get me a bit scared to write some scenes I've got planned in the future. Because what if?

Mood-wise, I haven't gotten any better compared to last week, but at least I haven't gotten any worse.

What am I reading?

My list is thankfully still the same as last time. Whoo boy, my brain just isn't settling enough for the attention required to read a few paragraphs.

What else am I doing?

So this whole week I'm visiting some of the exhibits offered in the local museums. On Monday, I went to the California Science Center and got to see the Endeavour. My mom found it interesting, but she didn't understand why I kept bouncing on my feet as I stood in the same room as it. I dunno. I like rockets, I guess?

And earlier today, I went to the Ronald Reagan Library (for the umpteenth time, but I'm not complaining) and got to see some of the new additions that I didn't get to see since the last time I went and got to look at the temporary Titanic exhibit they've got there for the time being.

Not sure where I'm going to go next. Later in the week I'll compile some of the pictures I've taken, which are very few; I certainly don't belong in the "selfie generation" and their obsession with pictures, that's for sure.

I'm also still searching for a part-time job. Sadly, it's just rejection after rejection since my school schedule isn't going to work out it seems. It's partially the reason why my mood's pretty low for the past few weeks. But I'll keep searching. I'll get one, one day. Better things can come if I'm just patient.

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Word Count Wednesday - 19 July 2017

Things that I worked on last week:
  • Chapter 13: 3156 words (finished at 4150 words)
  • Chapter 14: 1005 words
  • Scene practice: 1480 words

Total for the week: 5641 words

What am I working on?

The usual.

How do I feel about the process?

I have the feeling that the amount of meh I give about everything is proportional to how many words I'll manage to write in a week. While that is a bit worrying, I will admit that whenever I manage to finish a small goal (such as finishing a chapter), it fills me with enough euphoria to continue writing. I guess that, even when I'm at my lowest, I still manage to find a way to write; whether it is just as a personal journal entry or something I intend to publish anonymously to the public, it all means the same to me in the end.

It's come to a point that, while family might not support the idea of being an author, writing itself is a form of therapy that they won't dissuade me from doing. One day, I might show them differently with the former. The latter, however, is pretty much one of the constants that I've had in life. I don't know, writing is just something I've always done.

What am I reading?

Same list as last week. I really hope that it doesn't expand any time soon because I'm so behind.

What else am I doing?

So there was that coloring and coffee thing (minus the coffee for me since caffeine can kill me) which went down a turn that I recounted in a post earlier this week. Now, I pride myself on having a pretty vivid imagination. However, said imagination does not guarantee anything creative nor creativity itself, as portrayed in that picture.

Still job hunting as well.

Monday, July 17, 2017

"Color Her in a Different Style"

...that's what Sarah and Shaundee told me to do while coloring last Friday.

Shaundee, being the one with more artistic training, colored Mary Shelley in a more straight-forward style. Sarah, on the other hand, inadvertently emphasized the "shell" in SHELLey by transforming the writer of Frankenstein (or The Modern Prometheus) into a mermaid.

And then there was me.

To be honest, I had no idea what I was doing, so when I commented that her hair looked like doughnuts instead of the intended "modern ombre blonde" I was going for, I just rolled with it and it all went downhill from there.

(Sarah, Shaundee, it's your guys' turn. Put them on the blogs. GO!)

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Word Count Wednesday - 12 July 2017

Things I worked on last week:
  • Chapter 12: 2418 words (finished at 4226 words)
  • Short scene thing for fun: 1194 words
  • Chapter 13: 994 words
Total for last week: 4606 words

What am I working on?

I guess I'm working on a lot of things. Those scene things are coming up more often lately, though I'm trying not to let it detract from my main project right now. Not included in the above word count is a lot of the planning of my next main project.

How do I feel about the process?

Still feeling meh from last week, but as it shows, my ability to write out words hasn't been affected, so that's a plus. I also posted a bit of The Blighted Earth on a different website, just for fun and to see if people might be interested. So far, nothing, but that's fine by me. Not really much extra work on my part. I think that posting it under a completely different anonymous identity that doesn't have the audience my other one has might have a part in it, but who knows. It's like starting new, but without being too secretive about it this time. Oh gosh, the terrible writing associated with my first anonymous "writing persona." None shall ever know it's me. Never.

Or maybe people will find out. People are good detectives on the internet if they want to be, after all. (If that happens: I swear! All of it was because I was an angsty teenager! I'm not like that now, I promise!)

What am I reading?

Still the same books as last week.

What else am I doing?

Trying to find a part-time job that fits into my upcoming school schedule. I'm not hopeful about that, to be honest.

Wednesday, July 5, 2017

Word Count Wednesday - 5 July 2017

Things I worked on last week:
  • Chapter 11: 1948 words (finished at 2523 words)
  • Chapter 12: 1808 words
  • Jade poem: 139 words
Word count for this week: 3895 words

What am I working on?

Going to continue with that writing-a-novel-for-fun thing. So far, I'm at the point where I'm pretty sure what the end's going to be and how many more chapters it will last. I'm thinking at around chapter 20 or 21 is going to be the ending, then I can work on the last in the trilogy. After that, I'm freeeeeeee. At least until I decide to punish myself with my next epic-length story that will take me a few years to complete. Gosh, why do I do this to myself?

(Because it's fun, Jodee. You know this.)

While I'm not working on that, I'm planning out some of the scenes and details of said epic-length-novel-because-I-hate-myself plot, but I'm going to be a bit more serious about it. While the one I'm working on now isn't complete garbage, it's still fitting of being tossed into a landfill. It's Deus ex machina galore, questionable character motivations, and fever-dream inspired subplots. At this point, I'm having fun with it, but the next project I'm actually going to try this time. It's largely in the planning stages right now, and I'm trying to get a feel for whether to write it in third- or first-person. I'm leaning towards third-person.

That project should keep me relatively preoccupied for the next three years. Or less, depending on how well I do the planning beforehand.

I'm also taking part of Camp NaNoWriMo this July, joining in on a cabin with Sarah Covault like last time. Just saying if anyone's reading this and wants to join in, there's still spots available!

My project is pretty much the combined word count of all the other things I'm working on this month. Since my attention is spread pretty thinly between projects, I thought it would be prudent to not have a dedicated NaNoWriMo project this month.

In regards to the poem I wrote a bit earlier in the week, well... I just remember taking a shower and then a few of the lines came to me. And because of how my brain works, they kept repeating themselves and in order for me to be free of them was to write it down.

Also, my depression decided to kick me around really hard since last week. (Being sick and bedridden didn't help matters.) I just felt in the mood for darker poetry for once.

How do I feel about the process?

Meh. Though that's pretty much how I feel about everything lately.

Wake up? Meh. Eat? Meh. Shower? Meh. Take medicine so my sickness would go away faster? Meh. Go outside? Meh. Lay down on a comfortable mattress? Meh. (Seriously, I had a weird moment where I just went into my dark closet and curled into a ball on the hardwood floor. I wasn't sad or anything, I just felt like it was the thing to do, for some reason.)

Write? Meh.

Thankfully, the meh-ness didn't get me really bad, since I was able to type out a few things before it got worse and started thinking, "Please, someone just kill me right now, I swear."

Though I think a bit of that sentiment kinda leaked into my "Jade" poem. Whoops.

What am I reading?

Still have a lot of reading to do, but haven't made any progress in any of them because reading just got frustrating to me. And so, same list as last week, though my group finished reading The Magician's Nephew and started reading The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.

What else am I doing?

I edited another thing just for my group's enjoyment (since they think I'm really good at playing and that I can never die. Hahaha, joke's on them.) Still really rusty from my high-school video-production days, and I'm seriously missing using Final Cut Pro, but iMovie at least had some ability to cut things together.

I'm also going to be meeting Sarah, Shaundee, and Taunya to do some coloring and coffee (or tea/ice-drink thing in my case) on Friday as well as have a get-together potluck with my friends from high school now that they've all graduated from universities.

...and I myself haven't done so yet. What am I doing with my life?

Monday, July 3, 2017


The monster's name was Jade,
after the green-hued eyes she possessed.
She spoke like thunder of a summer storm
or like a costal breeze as a sweet caress.
She accepted my blood as payment
to ensure my rage has died.
Accepted, I thought she'd help me–
instead she killed me inside.

I broke free from Jade's steel-cold chains
that bound my feet and hands.
They left marks and scars from where they touched,
and yet I failed to understand
I'd never free myself from her for as long as I live,
for her call is much too great.
When I hurt I crave that pain,
that payment I used to hate.

I now fear of leaving her,
the way she hid my hopeless rage.
Help me, my green-eyed monster.
Kill me, my Jade, my blade.

(Oh wow, a poem. How'd that happen?)

Wednesday, June 28, 2017

Word Count Wednesday - 28 June 2017

Things I worked on last week:
  • Chapter 11: 575 words
  • A screenplay (to help me with writing a novel): 452 words
Total for this week: 1027 words

What am I working on?

As you can see, I didn't get to write 3k words in chapter 11. I had to delete most of it because it didn't flow well in the story. The word count if I had kept it would have been around 2.5k more, but I knew that 2.5k would have caused problems for me later on in the plot since it was self-contained and didn't move anything along or added any new kind of discovery for the characters. So I ended up nixing all of those troublesome scenes and started anew. Thank goodness for that Scrivener software, because I have multiple subplots that are going on and two of the subplots were fine. The others... not so much. All it needed was to choose the scenes that involved the development of this one character (that I was having issues with) and deleted only those ones. So yeah, I'm going to continue writing chapter 11.

Last night, however, without any real planning on my part, I ended up writing the screenplay of a novel idea I've been having. I tried writing it as a novel, but the action between dialogue was eluding me, so I decided to write it out as a screenplay for now. I'll fill in the novelizing bits and reformat it as normal prose later.

How do I feel about the process?

It hurt a lot to delete all those things I wrote for chapter 11. I'm generally okay to "kill my darlings" in my writing if someone or myself feels that something better could fit, but a whole 2.5k worth in a single chapter? Gah, so much writing is now never to be seen. But I've come to the acceptance that, while I like the ideas for how the scenes would play out... they were terrible ideas. I could practically feel the formation of plot holes as I was writing and I was struggling to envision the chapters that would come afterward. I thought it was writer's block. Nope, the idea was just not meant to be. I decided to go with what I feel to be a more fitting and interesting sequence of events, but still reaching the same goal I wanted for the characters.

What am I reading?

Still the same list as last week, but I've barely made any ground in any of them. I've been writing more than I've been reading (even though I've had to delete most of what I've wrote).

What else am I doing?

I've now been assigned to be the unofficial "videographer" for my online group for the team fights we've been having for this video game. (And here is where I let it all out and reveal just how much of a nerd I am, and exactly where I nerd out.) I've spend a few minutes editing simple videos for the group, and I'm finding that I enjoy it. Here's a sample of one of the fights we've done (this is also the same game I mentioned a few weeks ago where I "sniped" one of the enemy game streamers. I'm playing a different role this time):

Thankfully, the group doesn't care too much about editing anything fancy. Just put in the interesting bits. Sadly for this one video, I've had to put everything on its lowest settings because the computer was complaining (which also means no game audio).

And yes, I play Guild Wars 2. I'm a nerd. I'm pretty embarrassed about it, but hey, this is my blog. I get to share things I like and hope others do too. At some point I'm just going to have to be honest with myself and stop pretending I'm Miss Super Professional all the time because I'm absolutely not. I think this is a decent first step.

(Now... to tell my parents that they raised a nerdy girl, hahaha.)

Friday, June 23, 2017

Highlight of my day...

...told through a series of pictures. (Possible spoiler warning?)

Was writing, couldn't decide on a title for my document. Then this happened.

Coming up with good titles is one of the greatest weaknesses I have in writing. Thankfully, my friend was eager to help.

(And yes, I did fork over about $40+ for the Scrivener writing software. #noregrets)

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Word Count Wednesday - 21 June 2017

Things I worked on last week:
  • Chapter 11: 1675words
  • A short little scene thing to help me out of writer's block: 1006 words
  • An experimental exercise to see how I wanted a future project to be written: 274 words
Word count for the week: 2955 words

What am I working on?

Since last week, I'm trying to focus on only one project since I got pretty overwhelmed with trying to plan out and write things while also attending a conference of sorts, so I'm going slower than normal. This week, I'm likely going to continue the pattern and try to get at least 3k more words into chapter 11 by either tonight or tomorrow night so I can relax for a few days. I'll likely have more of those few-hundred word scene things, but we'll see. It feels weird sharing my progress on these projects since they're anonymous creations and I get the feeling that some people might be thinking I'm pulling these numbers out of my butt.

How do I feel about the process?

It was a bit touch and go there last week since on top of trying to write I was also attenting a church conference/meeting thing over in Costa Mesa. Needless to say, the event took a lot out of me and I found myself with no energy to write when I finally was able to rest in my hotel room. I was out like a light by 10pm every night, which is absolutely uncharacteristic of me. (I tend to sleep at 3-5am most nights.)

As for the content of my writing, however, I've been feeling a bit self-conscious and doubting a lot of my capabilities with a lot of the scenes of my main project. Could I really write that kind of atmosphere? Am I allowed to write something like that in a PG-13 rated plot? If I don't write this right, and considering the events surrounding world news and everything, I could seriously trample a lot of toes if the wrong eyes see my writing. Should I just nix the whole chapter and redirect the rest of the plot?

Anyway, I've decided to just tell myself, "Screw that! Just write!"

So I've got decent headway into chapter 11. Only my own eyes have seen what's been written so far, and the readers are really upset that I've surpassed my deadline for when it will be published. Which is why I'm putting the pedal to the metal right now. I hate making people unhappy with me.

What am I reading?

Because of the church conference/meeting in Costa Mesa, I've now have a long list of books that I've been assigned to read. Oh gosh, so many, where should I start?

  • The Power of a Praying Woman by Stormie Omartian
  • Smart Love by Dr. David Stoop and Dr. Jan Stoop
  • Primal Leadership by Goleman, Boyatzis, and McKee

I'm also reading bits and pieces of Sarah Covault's novel narrative from the Sprince 2017 semester and Les Mis on my own time. I'm also still reading along in The Magician's Nephew with my online group.

What else am I doing?

Meeting with friends that I graduated high school with that graduated from universities this year (What am I doing with my life? Why am I still in college?). I'm going to be teaching one of my friends how to crochet.

I'm also going to meet up with Shaundee and Sarah later on in the week, just 'cause.

I've faltered in practicing my piano, but in a really recent sit at the piano, I don't seem to have lost my progress in learning Fantasie Impromptu.

As for how the conference/meeting went last week, it went well. I surprised myself in how I was able to get up at 8am each day. I also loved that the hotel served complementary breakfast. It wasn't five-star dining at all, but man, those make-your-own waffles started each day off great.

I think I was the only weirdo out of all the hotel guests that ate her waffles without any utensils and without any syrup or toppings while wearing a business skirt and matching blazer. I'm really not ready for the adult life, hahaha.

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Word Count Wednesday - 14 June 2017

At a conference. Too tired. Short word count today. Edit into longer post when not busy and have better wifi.

Word count: 1000ish

Currently: tired and busy

Thursday, June 8, 2017

Word Count Thursday - 8 June 2017

Nooooo, I completely forgot about writing this out yesterday, dang it. Ah well, I'll try not to make that into a habit.

Things I worked on this week:
  • Chapter 10 from last week: 2655 words (completed at 4709 words)
Total for this week: 2655 words

What am I working on?

I'm hoping to work on chapter 11 and other things but other things got in the way a little, and are going to continue until mid June.

How do I feel about the process?

Excited, since I completed another chapter, and I'm finally at the plot's climax. Or one of them since I guess it's going to be an epic-length plot. Now I just need to tie off the ends in an exciting way to lead to the resolution and then I can give myself a break. This plot is part 2 of a trilogy, and wow, this one is taking longer than the first one for me to complete. Then again, I started the first one last summer in July when I wasn't very busy and completed it just a few weeks into November. I remember those updates during the school year were really hard for me to get through. Still, 20 chapters and each of them being at an average of 5k words each?

It wasn't quality at all, but it was the first time I've ever completed anything I started, at least when it comes to a novel-length work. Its sequel, however, proves to take me longer to finish. I started in December of 2016. I'm only halfway finished. I think. But I guess I shouldn't be too hard on myself since the purpose of even writing this is to "get all the bad work out of me so I know what not to do next time" according to my video production teacher in high school. The Creative Writing class from the spring semester helped me a lot in that regard, as well as helped me stay accountable in writing every week.

When I think about how much longer it's going to take me to complete the project, it's daunting. But I'm super glad I finished the first in the trilogy, despite how unrealistic it was for me to complete it in that span of time. I remember trying to meet personal deadline after another, trying to reach some finishing point that I didn't have much of an idea for since I'm not a plotter. But man, how well it was received by my little anonymous audience once it was finished was satisfying. For me to get there, it needed only one baby step at a time.

I've had to remind myself of that constantly lately since I expected to finish it when the semester ended. The key contributor for even finishing that first one was that I told myself I had to at least finish, and that's what I intend to do.

Though... I never intended it to evolve into a trilogy. I guess that part I could somewhat berate myself for.

What am I reading?

I haven't done a lot of reading. But I'm still in the process of reading the same stuff as last week.

What am I doing?

I'll share a bit of a narrative of the events:

This is where I show a bit of my nerdy/geeky/irresponsible side. I spent a good portion of yesterday and the day before playing this (competitive?) game I play. And it was glorious.

So, for some context, every week there's a rotation between teams of twelve, grouped up into three. These three are assigned colors: red, blue, and green; and are then forced to fight amongst each other. This week, my team color is green. My team leader was like, "Hey, let's go hit blue's side of the map. They're really close to us in points and we need to get ahead." Of course, with him being team leader we had to agree.

On the way there, we ran into the blue team. We fought them off and won. And then it happens again. And then again. We didn't think anything of it until a teammate said, "Hey, someone on blue's side is streaming their fight on Youtube." And then he linked it in our chat.

Of course, we had to watch. There was a two-minute delay so we were able to catch our last fight with them and two minutes is a huge difference competitively in the game, so it wasn't considered cheating that we were watching.

The fight wasn't even close. And then I overheard the blue team leader say, "Okay, we've been fighting green and we just keep losing. From this point on, we fight red. Remember, green's practice, red we fight." And, "We just keep losing and losing for the past few hours. This is really demoralizing."

At least both green and blue agree that red team this week is... really terrible. As for the blue team leader's last statement, I felt really horrible.

But I lightened up when I saw my character, dressed like a neon rainbow fairy queen with a weapon that looked like it came from a Hallmark Valentine's Day card, happened to "snipe" the person who was streaming the fights, someone who was dressed in all black and red complete with skulls and bones and chains. My teammates saw this and said, "It's like happiness hit him in the face so hard it killed him."

Definitely a highlight of how the past week went.

Wednesday, May 31, 2017

Word Count Wednesday - 31 May 2017

Honestly thought it was already June earlier today. But I completely forgot that May was the month with thirty-one days, not June.

Things I worked on last week:
  • Chapter 10 of something: 1641 words
  • Some short narrative I'm currently titling "Third Time's the Charm:" 622 words
Word count for this week: 2263 words

I also am doing a lot of pre-writing stuff (for the first time ever) on a new project (that is as private as the "super secret sequel" that I've been working on for a while). There's no word count yet, but a lot of scene/chapter synopses going on. And rewriting The Blighted Earth into my new bright cyan notebook just for personal reasons (that I'll get into in a bit).

What am I working on?

Those mentioned above. "Third Time's the Charm" is likely going to be posted on here in the coming weeks. Or not, considering that the subject matter is rather dark. Okay, really dark, and I'm questioning my mental health a little as to why I'm writing it. But... eh. I could always delete it from the blog if I change my mind.

As for the new project I'm doing outside of my usual impulsive writing habits and plotting for the first time, I'm actually liking it more than I thought I would. The Blighted Earth is going into handwritten form, which is a huge reason why I dont really have anything to show for at the moment.

In other words, I didn't really work on it this week. Ha...

How do I feel about the process?

For "Third Time's the Charm," I'm actually really nervous about writing this and later having the intent of posting it here later. I like to keep things positive and cheery as much as possible, but as my brain is at the moment, once there's this thought or idea trapped in there, it's never going to leave once I let it out somehow. Does it mean the writing will be good? Not necessarily. It just means that my mind's in some space right now and it won't budge its feet like a petulant, tantruming child until I give it what it wants (and later rescinding whatever means of abatement I used without it knowing).

Like that poem/not poem thing I wrote a while ago about red lights and driving off of a freeway. Yeah, that kind of space my mind's occupying. But a lot darker. Fun stuff all around.

As for the new project, it's going to be another anonymous online posting of stuff. I'm just doing it for the practice and exercise of planning scenes out before I write. I can't say I've gone full-on Plotter in this case since there's a lot of holes in the outline that I'll fill with the actual writing. What I'm hoping is that I'll have more direction of where the story goes if I do it this way, which I've struggled with reining in for a while. I've just gotten fed up and I've decided to try to do something about it.

And with handwriting The Blighted Earth, I'm liking the decision to do it this way. Since it's written in first person, it's easier to get into the character of Alir as if I'm writing the story as a personal acount from him, in a way. Like a memoir of sorts. Typing things out leaves me in a bit of a disconnect, and I find it's easier for me to write in third person like this. Handwriting feels more personal, like I'm inside the page instead of observing the words appear magically on a screen.

In regards to writing in general, I'm rather pleased with the pace I'm going at, despite having a lower word count to what I had the week prior. I'm still trying to readjust my sleeping schedule to the summer to writing during the cold nights instead of the sweltering days. I've learned pretty early on that it's easier for me to write when everyone else is slumbering, though I have no idea why.

What am I reading?

Last week, I've gotten a bit further into The Magician's Nephew. I also finally got a more up-to-date copy of Sarah Covault's narrative about Mary, Queen of Scotts attending high school and am reading that little by little as well.

What else am I doing?

My piano teacher finally came back from Denmark a few days ago, so I'm working on practicing the songs I've been assigned. I'm also still working on Chopin's Fantasie Impromptu. It's getting easier to play bit by bit, but still grossly under tempo. But it's progress at least.

I'm also trying to learn ASL again. Now that I have the time, I might as well, right?

Oh yeah, that's also another thing I have interest with: codes and languages. Last summer, I taught myself Morse code. And a little bit of Esperanto. I've known a bit of ASL for a while now, and have wanted to further my knowledge by taking classes. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to take any again, so I'm just brushing up what I know and trying to teach myself more.

(I secretly do all these things because I keep hoping that I've got some hidden talent or that I'm good at something somewhere. I don't think I found it yet.)

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Word Count Wednesday - 24 May 2017

Things I worked on last week:
  • Chapter 9 of that story's sequel: 4279 words
  • Chapter 10 of that same story's sequel: 413 words
  • "As the Winds Blow" prologue: 255 words
Total word count for the week: 4947 words

What am I working on?

Same things as above. I'll also try my hand at try to get back into continuing The Blighted Earth. The muse isn't there at the moment, but I'm pretty sure it'll come to me once I settle back into my normal sleeping schedule. A.K.A. Sleep during the day and type during the night. My brain works best when the sun's not out for some reason.

How do I feel about the process?

Really excited since I'm back to my "normal" writing habits. School takes a lot out my ability to write, and since it's a priority, I've had to allow myself the irritation of doing schoolwork instead of writing. Lately, I've been handwriting what I've been working on more than typing them. Partially because I got an unfortunately placed paper cut on the tip of my pinky, right where the finger would make contact with the keys (why does something so little bother me so much?); partially because the "newness" has been helping me creativity-wise somehow. I even bought a new notebook solely to write one story in.

What am I reading?

Surprisingly, not a whole lot. Though I have made dents in Les Mis and The Magician's Nephew. I am checking back on the blogs every once in a while to see if there's anything new to read. I'm a bit sad that there isn't much now that it's not really an obligation.

What else am I doing?

Piano practicing in general has been put on hold because of this gosh-darned paper cut. At the very least, I did get to watch Moana when my family rented it over the weekend. It was nice, and there were some songs that were okay; but I couldn't really bring myself to enjoy it all that much. But then again, movie or television watching isn't really my thing. I wonder why?

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Word Count Wednesday - 17 May 2017

Just because the semester is officially over for me, doesn't mean that I'm going to stop writing. These posts are helping me to stay accountable, so I guess this is now a part of my weekly routine from now on.

Things I worked on last week:

Nothing. Unless you want to count all the physics formulas that I wrote down to study for my finals.

What am I working on?

Now that my summer has begun, I can write as much as my heart desires. I'm going to work on that personal project that I've started before the semester started (which shall not be named) and that novel I've been working on that I've conceptualized because of the semester (The Blighted Earth). After I'm done with those, I'm going to have a crack at finishing that "As the Winds Blow" story that I've got as a bit of a shorter companion piece to The Blighted Earth. Or work on that Wild West fantasy idea that's running around in my head for a good month now.

Needless to say, I've got a lot of things I want to work on. At least I don't have to worry about classes and homework at the time being.

How do I feel about the process?

*clears throat* Woooooooo! Summer! Yeah! Let's get this writing started!

Even though I'm starting off this summer with a bit of a deficit in productivity due to trying and later getting burnt out from to catch up in my physics class, I can breathe a huge sigh of relief and get that finals-week jitters out of me. Because of this, I've finally been able to think of other things other than nuclear physics and the the different kinds of particles that can eject from a radioactive substance. Like earlier this morning after my shower, I was able to come up with an explanation behind the "big baddie" in that one plot I was working on for a while. I already knew his character and his background and everything. And I know it's fantasy and that it often doesn't follow the same rules of the world when it's magical.

But I wanted a reason behind it. "Because magic" isn't a good enough reason for me, personally. And now that I don't have to worry about studying anymore, I finally found that reason.

It's still a bit "because magic," but at least it's got a little more believeable. Maybe.

What am I reading?

Same as last week: Les Mis and The Magician's Nephew. I'll probably add more to that list in the coming weeks.

What else am I doing?

I'm still challenging myself by learning Fantasie Impromptu on the piano. I've got the first few measures, somewhat. Baby steps. Baby steps.

As for piano lessons themselves, they're going to be on hold for a bit as I wait for my piano teacher to come back from Denmark. Likely after recording a grade-A album no less. So cool.

Friday, May 12, 2017

Character Outline Development Thing - Mr. Mortimer

A character I'm thinking of being the central one in the weird idea for another novel I want to try my hand on working on. I'm likely not going to use a lot of this information, or I'm going to end up changing a lot of the minor details of his backstory as I actually get into writing the plot.

(I'm posting this here to prevent losing it for my portfolio later)

Full name: Preston William Mortimer
Alias: Mr. Mortimer, "The Grim Reaper"
Age: A few decades after 100, he thinks
Date of birth: Wintertime, a while ago
Current location: Hestworth (fantasy place inspired by American Wild West)
Gender: Male

Thursday, May 11, 2017

My Brain is Weird

It's already a given fact in my family that I have a rather... peculiar imagination. "Active" for people outside of my family. "Over-active" if one were to look into it too closely.

There's nothing physiologically wrong with my brain, according to my neurologist. I get these strange migraines where my five senses get messed around with like smelling scents that aren't there or my tongue going numb or my writing from my left hand is a lot neater than the writing with my dominant right hand... just without the actual pain of a migraine. I get a long-lasting—but minor—headache, pain-wise, but that's it. But after having a CT scan of my brain and listening to the lovely buzzing sounds from the inside of an MRI machine, the doctor said there's nothing really wrong with the wrinkled mass of flesh hiding inside the calcium-rich dome that is my skull. I just need to watch my magnesium intake (which I've already had to do after getting diagnosed with PAC from my cardiologist).

There were a few therapists and psychologists that told me otherwise, diagnosing me as clinically depressed. Sure, that might have an effect on the "intricate" workings of my imagination. Then again, it might not.

Growing up, my mother loved to collect those porcelain china dolls. I hated them. I also hated the fact that, since she didn't have space in her room to keep them, she placed them on the shelf of my bedroom. For a while, these dolls didn't bother me. Yeah, they were kinda pretty. Yeah, I saw the appeal in keeping them.

Would I have stuck them in my eight-year-old daughter's room? Oh heck no!

At night, under the dim amber glow of a nightlight, their glass eyes would catch just enough light to glow a little. I would watch them stare at me as I slept. It made me so uncomfortable, I had to turn them to face the wall so I wouldn't see their faces.

Well... that ended up being worse since I had a tendency to wake up in the middle of the night. And being a groggy mess upon waking from interrupted sleep, my paranoid brain would then assume they turned around on their own, forgetting that I was the one who turned them around. My heart rate would speed up, adrenaline pumped into me, waking me further. When that happens, reason returns to me, then I go back to sleep.

My mother worked night shifts, so I couldn't just "run to Mommy" when I got scared in the middle of the night. And my dad was all the way on the other end of the dark, unlit hall. I was more afraid of the dark than those dolls, so I just learned to live with them.

I guess my experience with these dolls then leaked the tiny paranoia I ended up having with my stuffed animals. I used to sleep with them on my bed. I have no idea what happened, but I ended up thinking that they would get jealous that I would sleep with only one of them in my arms; so to prevent this I just shoved them into my closet so I wouldn't see them.

Okay, so you might be thinking, "Jodee, it's perfectly normal for a kid to think like that."

You know what's not normal? I do these "peculiar things" even in my adulthood.

I'm no longer afraid of the dark, but I do get these moments where anything flat and circular all of a sudden becomes "secret eyes" staring at me. Like the screws holding the plate covering my light switch. Or the circular logo on my fan. Or the clock. Or the buttons of my jacket. If it happened all the time, I would probably check myself back into a mental institution; but it doesn't so I just brush it off and go about my day. Or I play peek-a-boo with them if I'm certain I'm alone. It makes me feel better.

Or like when music is being played. Like at a party or some kind of school fundraiser or whatever, I purposefully force myself to walk off-beat of the music. I don't know why, I just do it. I feel uncomfortable when I'm walking to the rhythm of music for some reason. You'd think the opposite would be the case for me, considering that I've been introduced to music theory in elementary school and continue to play the piano even to this day. Performance-wise? Yeah, rhythm is very important to me and it irks me when people don't know how to clap on 2 and 4 instead of 1 and 3 with a song that's so obviously common-time. Walking is just... no. I walk to the beat of my own drum, not from whatever song's being played, thank you very much.

I have a few more of these strange things I do, but they're rather minor compared to the big ones like the circles and the music. Idiosyncrasies, if you will. Like my first step onto a set of stairs needs to be from my left foot or it just feels wrong. When eating ice cream, servings have to be in either one or three scoops; never two. I dunno why.

Stuff like that makes me, at times, feel like I'm crazy. But I've learned to just accept it as something tiny and carry on. I do have this tiny fear that if I do bring it up to a psychiatrist they will have me diagnosed with something else; but considering how little it's affecting my day-to-day functions, it's likely they won't.

My family may call it my brain being weird.

I like to call it "the spice of life."

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Word Count Wednesday - 10 May 2017

Things I worked on last week:
  • Chapter 9 of that project: 1253 words (currently at 1491)
It's slow going, but at least it wasn't as bad as last week.

What am I working on?

Considering that it's finals week, probably not a lot. Or, if it looks like my grade for physics is going to hold up, then probably a whole bunch. If the latter ends up being the case, then I'm going to try to work on everything that isn't finished: The Blighted Earth, its companion piece As the Winds Blow (I'm trying to find a decent title), the Choose-Your-Own-Adventure story that I started a while ago, the idea I've been hesitating to get started on, and maybe complete that "In Medias Res" experiment since I've gotten a bit of inspiration for it recently.

How do I feel about the process?

I'm still trying to recover from the sudden hit of "I really hate writing right now" from last week. It's slow going, the words aren't coming as easily as they usually are (which wasn't easy in the first place), and the inspiration to write is coming in tiny droplets instead of a steady stream. But the fire of motivation got rekindled recently after having this "can do" attitude from trying to learn a piano piece that has eluded me for years, which I'll get into in a little bit.

What am I reading?

I didn't do much reading last week. But my reading list remains the same: Les Mis and The Magician's Nephew

What else am I doing?

Okay, so I mentioned just a few paragraphs ago that there was this piano piece that I've had the sheet music of for years already, but never got the chance to master it. Well... I got really frustrated with the sudden wall of "I can't do this" I've encountered with writing that I decided to continue to wallow in my misery and plunk around on my piano trying to learn a piece that I knew would anger me in its complexity.

Well... it was like my hands had this little epiphany moment. For some reason, I finally could understand the notes. I could read and play through the composition. Just... really slow. But it was a lot more than I used to be able to do.

That piece, my friends, is Chopin's Fantasie Impromptu. I'll put a link of someone performing it once I get back home. The computers in the library have no audio, so I can't choose a proper recording.

I just might hate myself for even trying. Or I might finally master this thing.

Funny how Chopin told his friend, "Once I'm dead, do not publish this."

And his friend was like, "lol, k" and published it after Chopin died.

None of that was a direct quote, of course. But it's essentially what happened. Oh, friends. Can't live without 'em, eh?

So, here begins my journey to accomplish something I thought was impossible. I'll probably have snippets of recording my process to learning this song over the summer.

And because of this, I was able to jot a bit more words last week compared to the week prior. Stuff happens.

Wednesday, May 3, 2017

Monthly Showcase - April 2017

Totally forgot this was a thing on my blog. Whoops. Better late than never, right?

While the month of April has been a time where I've written the most in a short amount of time, there hasn't been a great number of actual posts I've made on this blog. Most of it were projects for either myself or for the children at church. But still, there was a good number of things I worked on in April.

Word Count Wednesday - 3 May 2017

Things I worked on last week:
  • A part of chapter 9 for that one project I had: 238 words
Yup, that's it. Kinda disappointed in myself since I was just able to write thousands and thousands of words in just one week not too long ago.

What am I working on?

Hopefully, I'll find the motivation to try to write out anything. If that happens, likely continue working on chapter 9, and then The Blighted Earth. And those poems that are going to be due in the portfolio.

How do I feel about the process?

It's rare, but it happens. I hate writing right now, plain and simple. More often than not, I usually suffer from pitfalls that I can easily pull myself out of if I give myself a bit of time. But as I mentioned in a rant I posted recently, this time it's one of those rare occasions where I can't bring myself to work on anything imaginative because the urge to tear it all to pieces is there. If I were to give it some kind of weird personification of this feeling, it's like this gigantic dragon that's blocking the way to where I want to go, but all I've got to fight it is just a dinky little pen and a piece of paper. Pretty much all I can do at this point is just wait it out. At some point the dragon will fly away to somewhere else in my life and the call to write will beckon me like an old friend.

Or something to that effect.

What am I reading?

Unfortunately, my enjoyment of writing is affecting my enjoyment of reading, so I'm not really up to reading anything that's longer than a paragraphs.

What else am I doing?

A whole lot of nothing. Even trying to get myself to play a quick song on the piano is hard for me to do.

Hmm... Maybe it's my depression rearing it's ugly head again. Lack of enjoyment of things I love? That's a big symptom I used to suffer from when it got really bad. Okay, note to self: get out more. Don't stay in your room too much before it gets out of hand.

Well, it's either that or burnout. I'll get myself out of it eventually.

Monday, May 1, 2017

Ranting About My Current Hatred

Right now, it feels like writing is just this on-again-off-again thing. In the month of April, I saw this huge swing of inspiration coming my way, the words came so easily and the ideas wouldn't cease. I wrote all them down so I wouldn't forget them later and put them into either my current projects or future ones. I guess it was the closest thing I've ever experienced to what people like to call "young love."

But then, that dreaded ending that is cliché to young love.


Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Word Count Wednesday - 26 April 2017

Things I worked on last week:
  • Chapter 7 of that project: 1252 words (completed at 2962)
  • Chapter 8 of that same project: 3771 words (completed)
  • Fish story for the children: 408 words (completed at 797)
Total for this week: 5431 words

What am I working on this week?

I'm going to try to work on The Blighted Earth, but at the same time, I might not. It looks like the other project has taken much of the space in my head for inspiration, so I might as well not fight against it. So yeah, looks like I'm going to be working on chapter 9 at this point. Though, given that I don't have any other projects I want to work on (aside from that new idea that popped into my head for yet another fantasy-ish novel), my week is likely going to look like it's going to flip-flop between working on chapter 9 and The Blighted Earth. Now that I've been given some suggestions on how to move forward, hopefully that would be the case.

How do I feel about the process?

Despite how rocky non-school-life has been going for me lately (as I had predicted in March how my April will end up being), I'm pleasantly surprised to see that not only have I been able to keep up with writing, but surpass my expectations. (Take notes, Jodee, writing seems to be a good coping mechanism.)

I was also very pleased at how much the children enjoyed my fish story. I already knew they liked having stories read to them, but to know they got really invested in the little fish main character? It really warmed the cockles of my heart to see their endearing worry for when I got the fish to encounter Mr. Shark. So cute!

It's definitely a different experience for me, since I've pretty much known each and every one of these children since they were born and witnessed them grow up. I kinda see them as the copious number of first-cousins I have. (I have over 30 on my mother's side. My dad? Umm... since he grew up with 12 older siblings -- three are half-siblings, but still -- and he's the youngest... Yeah...) It felt wonderful to share the weird images I have in my head with them and have them enjoy it as much as I do.

But it also made me feel a bit sad. Never in my life have I ever shared a story I've written to my parents, even when I was as young as those children. Well, I tried but they seemed more interested in the fact that I got straight As in elementary school and middle school (and thus nudged me into being a doctor or something). I've tried with my siblings, too, but my brother isn't really into reading. My sister? Um... the less said, the better. Gah, I guess a part of the motivation as to why I've been writing a lot lately is kinda like some passive-aggressive way for me to say, "Don't care about my writing? Hah! I'll show you and write ALL THE THINGS! Muahahaha!"

Still, it's gotten me to pause a bit in the middle of the night as I write, making me constantly ask myself, "Why continue writing? It's not like anyone cares."

But then a scene keeps picking at my brain and then I just continue on as normal.

In all seriousness, I will admit that it's hard to pick right back up sometimes. It gets tiring. But at least I know the kids like my writing.

--Yeah right, like that means anything to someone wanting to write for older audiences.
--You know what? No one asked you. So shut up.

What am I reading?

I guess I'm on a roll on learning to manage my time better, since I've been able to split my attention between two books. Les Mis has finally found its space again next to my pillow (because reading helps me to fall asleep, okay?) I will admit that I had to start again from the beginning instead of where I left off when I began it close to the start of the semester, due to forgetting a lot of what happened beforehand.

Super glad I took those years of French throughout high school (and a bit of college). I'm pretty sure if I hadn't, a lot of the phrases would've escaped my understanding.

And then I'm also continuing to read along in The Magician's Nephew with that online group. Fun stuff. Very fun stuff.

What else am I doing?

I tried to find some series or something that interests me over the weekend. Keyword: tried. I must lack some kind of gene that makes me interested in television. Can you believe that I asked my parents to remove the television in my room when I was fourteen? "Because I don't use it, and I could use the space for other things." (A.K.A. more mess in my messy bedroom) Don't get me wrong, I was a normal kid growing up being obsessed with watching the colorful pictures burning their images into my retinas; but once puberty hit it's like the interest just... poof.

So when that didn't work out, I just went back to writing. Or playing my piano. Though I did finally learn how to fry lumpia (Filipino egg rolls) without getting first- and second-degree burns (thanks dad for the help). Adulting skill acquired: pan-frying.

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Word Count Wednesday - 19 April 2017

Things I worked on last week:
  • Chapter 6 of that one project: 1410 words (completed at 3024)
  • Chapter 7 of that same project: 1710 words
  • A new idea I came up with over the weekend that was going to be for a turn in for narrative #2 but decided against it to develop the other story more: 1738 words
  • The children's fish story thing: 389 words
  • The Blighted Earth (mainly edits and stuff): a paltry 23 words
  • A Tale from the Stars poem: 271 words
I think that's everything I worked on this week (at least in a non-journaling capacity, since I'm always journaling/ranting about something). So that brings my weekly word count to 5541. Really disappointed in the word count with The Blighted Earth, but after seeing what I did this week, I guess I feel better now, hahaha.

What am I working on?

Now that I've got chapter 6 done and out into the world for my tiny audience to read and criticize (or enjoy, I guess), I'm going to continue working on chapter 7. I honestly can't believe that people are still reading that thing despite not updating it weekly like I used to since summer ended in 2016. The fun in writing that project has returned, especially since I've gotten to a point in the plot where a group of main characters are believing the worst of this other main character. Super cliché plot point of "a serious case of misunderstanding," but I got stuck, okay? At least I'm giving what the audience wanted for quite a while and having one of the characters find a reason to go out there and pursue that other person. Talk about delayed gratification, am I right?

The children's story is also something I'm going to continue to work on, since the deadline is this Sunday.

As for the new idea I came up with, I want to write that one so badly, but I also really like working on The Blighted Earth (when I can), so I guess it's going to have to be left to simmer for a bit. Especially since the idea came to me at 5 A.M., I'm going to have to decide whether or not the idea is even worth pursuing, despite how fun and weird I think it would be to try to develop it.

How do I feel about the process?

Pretty great! I was able to bump up my word count by dropping the amount of time I'm wasting playing video games (a struggle I've had for a while, actually), and spent it with writing or practicing whatever new skill I need to learn by the next piano lesson. Namely the former. (Sorry, piano teacher. I swear I'll get those dominant 7 inversions by down heart the next time we meet!) I've also been really inspired to continue writing that-other-project-that-shall-never-be-named-in-the-open now that the characters are in a bit of a tizzy that I have no idea how they're going to get themselves out of, though I have an inkling of how that happens. Nothing really concrete yet, but it's fun just writing something out and not caring what others think of my ability to tell a story because they don't know my real identity.

I guess because of that, I'm just really surprised at how many people like what I've written so far. I still cringe at how poorly written it is and how not-thought-out all the events are, weaving it into a tangled mess that I'm spending the sequel (which is what the project is right now) by untangling it and solving it at the same time.

And also doing a bit of "giving the readers what they want" kind of thing. I never intended there to be romance, but the readers wanted romance, and there they got it. Then I yanked it away from them.

I'm cruel. I know that.

What am I reading?

So many people don't know that I'm part of this group of people that play this one game that happens to be high-fantasy, so we decided to do a book-reading thing online. And because we all have this interest in fantasy (and all somehow happen to have the all the books), we're reading the first book in C. S. Lewis's The Chronicles of Narnia series, The Magician's Nephew.

I've read it many times in the past, but it's really different when it's being read out loud. Especially when it's being read out loud by people across the country and around the world. It feels different when someone with a lilting southern drawl reads it aloud, when someone with soft English accent, or a peppy Australian, or a valley girl accent (me when I'm excited), or all these different accents reads the same words I am. Really glad someone in the group came up with this idea. I feel like it makes the fantasy world Lewis created becomes even more magical by hearing the words in a way I'm not accustomed to.

What else am I doing?

As I mentioned last week, I'm taking up piano lessons again after not having them for... um, maybe eight years? My piano teacher's pretty impressed at how well I'm able to sight read (I'm pretty surprised myself), so there's that. But when it comes to modern music, the ability to sight read is a bit useless, so she's having me work on getting chord inversions down to muscle memory and instinct. It's posing a challenge I really enjoy so far.

Friday, April 14, 2017

A Tale from the Stars

An attempt at terza rima, which ended up blobbing into some weird semblance of one near the end. Whoops.

she said she traced the stars last night
and found a tale that told her of
someone who chose to lose their sight.

their wont to see was not as loved
as touch, or smell, or taste, or sound;
and thought not of the stars above.

she said they thought it best and found
that much of life is not through eyes,
but heart and soul, not simply bound

to a glance or beautiful lies,
that out of sight meant out of mind;
and thought not of the midnight skies.

they loved the fact that they were blind
for life was easy when it's dark --
until the day the stars aligned

infatuation made its spark,
the only light that they could see,
the wants of the heart made its mark.

to love this person, they agreed,
was something special and priceless
she said, "and yet not meant to be"

"to love someone," she had stressed
"was to see them for all they were
they gave up sight with which they're blessed"

I said, "they're foolish, that I'm sure,
to choose to blind themselves like that,
to ruin chances for something so pure."

"my friend, you're blind," she had spat.
"this person is you, know you not?
you turned your eyes, and this begat

your folly to search what can't be sought
for foolish is they that spurn away
against a truth, which you forgot."

"what truth is that?" I asked, dismayed.
she said, "they love you, so blind to love
you thought not of the stars above."

she left me then, confused.
and then I remembered,
it was her I refused.

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Word Count Wednesday - 12 April 2017

Things I worked on since last week:
  • Interactive story experiment (Ascend the Tower): 1174 words
  • The Blighted Earth: 1020 words
  • Chapter 6 of that other thing: 577 words (currently at 1614 words)
  • "Manananggal, or Hunting a Philippine Vampire in America:" 2061 words (I got carried away)
Total word count: 4832 words

I think I went a bit crazy over the week.

What am I working on?

Pretty much the same list as above, considering that none of them are completed. The screenplay one, concept-wise, is finished... but I'm still tinkering with it every once in a while. I guess I'll add in that fish story for the children for what I'm going to be working on this week as well. It's due in like a week, after all.

How do I feel about the process?

Really excited and happy, since the two projects that aren't novel-related that I worked on last week reminded me of the things I did because I was bored: write screenplays and write interactive stories. It revitalized this writing frenzy that made me write even more in my other projects since I would jump around from one to another when I got a little bored or stuck in one of them. Each project is so vastly different from each other that my brain was always entertained. It gave me the illusion that I was being productive.

I might not actually have been productive, but it was fun nonetheless. Most of the time when I have all these projects I want to work on all at once, I get intimidated and quit on a few of them to make it more manageable. While the word counts on the novels that I'm trying to write aren't the goals I intended for myself, at least the other projects were nice "distractions."

I'm really thankful for all the time I have this semester. I couldn't possibly be able to write anything substantial next semester since I'm taking up a full load of classes. Again.

The closer I get to the end of this semester, the closer the end of the fun of attending this Creative Writing class. Can I just be in this class forever?

What am I reading?

My physics textbook. I'll try not to cry as I read about light interference and diffraction, since it's so moving and motivating me to read even more about it. Thin films and slits and gratings? Wonderful!

Hah, just kidding. I'm crying because I hate it. If anything, it's grating on my nerves and the only slit I want to study the behavior of is the one I want to make right across my jugular. I have nothing against the teacher or the people or anything... I just really, really hate the subject. Can I go back to chemistry or astronomy, please?

I have a love/hate for this semester. I don't want it to end because of Creative Writing, but I so desperately want it to just keel over and die because of physics. Decisions, decisions.

What else am I doing?

I'm taking up piano lessons again, but not in the classical teachings, no. While that in itself takes years of discipline and study (years that I spent, with nothing much to show for), I'm going the... non-traditional route.

In other words, I'm learning how to play the more modern styles. While technique and music theory involved with the popular music of today isn't as complicated as the romantic era of classical music (I'm look at you, Debussy), it's posing a challenge that I'm finding that I really enjoy. I'm learning how to enjoy the simpler things in my performance.

In other words... I suck. But I love it because it's bringing me back to the days I first started playing the piano, when everything was new and difficult and that the end goals felt attainable. I mean, at the age of twelve, I wanted to master all three movements of Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonata" after learning the first one. I expected to have this accomplished by the age of eighteen.

Six years to master it? Sure! Sounds reasonable. I knew the third and final movement of the sonata would pose the ultimate test of my piano capabilities, one that I was confident that I would pass. I mean, if I can read the sheet music, that means I could play it at some point, right?

First page, first impressions. Looks doable, doesn't it?

Beethoven, WHY?! I thought you were supposed to be deaf!

(I chose this video to make me feel a little bit better about not being able to play since I hear a few mistakes in the performance here and there, but still... why!?)

I am now twenty-two. I still can't. Oh, the naïve nature of children. How wonderful it would be to be a child again. This piece is a constant reminder of everything I can't do on the piano. Look at the stretch of this man's hands. The bias on having long fingers is real when it comes to classical piano.

My sister likes to hold my hands and tell me, "Oooh, they're so cute! So tiny. So delicate."

Thanks, sis. Thanks for telling that to a classical pianist.

But this new opportunity to break away from classical piano? That feeling of newness and excitement is the closest I can get to what I had when I was eight. At least this time, I don't have to learn my scales and chords. It's all technique from here on out.

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Ascend the Tower (A Choose-Your-Own-Adventure)

Just a bit of a taste of what I've got so far:
You have no idea where you are.

You vaguely remember going to bed last night. After that, nothing.

All you know is that you aren’t in your room laying on your bed, your limbs are tied to the stone floor, and it’s dark.

At least you’re still wearing the clothes you went to bed in. After all, who wants to worry about being butt-naked when they’re trying to figure out how they got themselves tied up in a dark, smelly, humid...


You think you’re in a room. There isn’t any other sounds or sensations suggesting that you’re outside. You’re about 99% sure you’re in a room of sorts. Where this room is, specifically – that’s where the trouble lies.

Come to think of it, the place is just giving off a vibe of... something else. The hairs on the back of your neck prickle at the undeniable sensation of someone watching you. Someone you can’t see.

The darkness doesn’t help matters either.

So, you’re supposedly alone-but-not-quite, you don’t recognize the place you’re in, and you’re tied to the floor in only your bedclothes.

Your first course of action?
It's a work in progress, but you can read what I've got so far by following this link. (Let me know if the link is still giving issues. I'm not sure if it's fixed or not.)

For this experiment, it ended up being a lot more fun than I anticipated it to be. I used to make choose-your-own-adventure stories, but they didn't really have much of a plot to them, and I didn't understand how to use the website that I'm using back then.

Now that I've tried to develop my writing skills a bit more since then, and now that I understand how conditionals work (after trying to teach myself how to code, bad mistake), I've finally got something that's actually working the way I'm intending it to.

It's not done, but I really want to finish this one. It's just too fun to write a story with branching choices!

Saturday, April 8, 2017

Manananggal, or Hunting a Filipino Vampire in America

I decided to adapt my manananggal story into a screenplay to be my experiment/dialogue thing for class. Pardon the mistakes with the screenplay formatting. It's been a while since I wrote a screenplay and I'm forgetting a lot of the rules.

Thursday, April 6, 2017

The Blighted Earth - Chapter 4 (under construction)

We were walking for hours, and still the piles of bones didn’t seem to have an end in sight. I was so caught up in trying not to step on them where I realized I hadn’t taken my medicine for the day. I looked up at the sky to gauge how long it had been since my last dose. It didn’t help that my thoughts were clouding over as I tried to calculate while tip-toeing around the dead.

The crunch of a dried-up femur made me stop.

The Blighted Earth - Chapter 3 (under construction)

Eĵas and I parted ways as he went to talk with the saltkeeper while I went to gather the other necessities we would need in going out into the unknown.

"To ensure that brows won't be raised when you ask for a few days’ worth," he had said. "You might have been able to convince her to give you a pinch with little hassle. Getting a quantity that can’t be contained by your pouch? Imprisonment, easily.”

I didn’t argue since we were being pressed for time and that I was trying to calculate how much I could get away with spending for the rest of our supplies.

Wednesday, April 5, 2017

Word Count Wednesday - 5 April 2017

Things I worked on this week:

Only two and I'm so behind on my word count goal for Camp NaNoWriMo. Really need to catch up on it.

Camp NaNoWriMo project (The Blighted Earth): 2474 words (it should have been at least 4000 by now)

Chapter 6 of that other project: 797 words

Manananggal story: 635ish words

Total word count for the week: 3906 words

What am I working on?

Same things as I have last week, though my fantasy novel thing ended up being my Camp NaNo project, so it's likely going to be taking more of my attention for the coming days again. As for other projects, I'm likely going to just hop between those as I run into writer's block. Or whatever blog post I feel like typing out because that's usually my go-to writing style when I lack the words for a story.

How do I feel about the process?

I find that it's a lot more fun to write when you have other people who will suffer with you, which Camp NaNoWriMo had turned out to be for me.

Also pretty amused at the fact that I said in my Word Count Wednesday for last week that it was only natural to write chapter 3 of my novel length thing, but it ended up not being like that. I ended up writing chapters that didn't fit that sequence because I was trying to grasp for words... and ended up spending a good amount of time writing scenes around the middle and end of the plot. Whoops.

I'm a bit intimidated, however, by what Stephen King said about how many words he writes in a day. Ten-thousand words!? It took me a span of writing two days straight being locked in my room doing nothing but writing and leaving only to eat and use the restroom to get that many words out. I barely got decent sleep during that time, too. I mean, just writing a thousand words out takes me a few hours.

So, with that in mind, I still enjoy writing, but man does Camp NaNo remind me that my meager goal of writing 30k words by the end of the month could easily be finished in three days if I were as prolific as Stephen King.

What am I reading?

The project that Sarah Covault is working on for Camp NaNo, which is her Mary, Queen of Scottsville Academy. I'm really liking it so far!

And shameless self plug: If you guys are interested, there are totally spots available for "The Scrappy Scribblers" Cabin for Camp NaNo. Just head over to the Camp NaNoWriMo website and sign up, then leave me a comment on either this post or this one that I wrote detailing a bit more of what it is with your username.

Saturday, April 1, 2017

Monthly Showcase - March 2017

Oh shoot, I completely forgot to type this out the other day. Got caught up with the hype of Camp NaNoWriMo and lost track of the dates, hahaha.

Anyway, better get this thing out ASAP before the date of this post annoys me at how not-March it is.

As the Winds Blow - Chapter 1:
The first half of the month was filled with me upset at losing a lot of my work, so the first actual post from this month was my attempt at writing an adventure plot given its nuances detailed from the 20 Master Plots and How to Write Them that I was assigned to read in class. Its development is still in its infancy, and unfortunately it appears I won't be working on it this month as I'm preoccupying my time with "The Blighted Earth," the next items on this list.

The Blighted Earth - Chapter 1:
This is essentially a rewrite of the chapter one from here. C'est comme-ci, comme-ça. To be honest, I felt that this chapter was pretty bland.

The Blighted Earth - Chapter 2:
This chapter, on the other hand, felt a bit more exciting, though still not quite up to par in my opinion. Either that, or I'm being too hard on myself again.

Chopin's Nocturne in C# Minor:
I think a good portion of how I felt about this project could read be on the post itself.

Thursday, March 30, 2017

Camp NaNoWriMo 2017

Guys. Guys. I just realized that Camp NaNoWriMo is happening in a few days.

Considering that it's mentioned many times in the semester, I think it's (hopefully) not too late to mention that, starting April 1st (and it's no joke) is Camp NaNoWriMo. Similar to the regular NaNoWriMo in November, you are given a writing goal to complete during the month.

However, 50,000 words in a month? Not everyone can do that (including me).

Camp NaNoWriMo is different though. You choose the word count goal that you want to complete. 50k words not doable? Change it to 40k. Or 30k. Or even 10k if you can't manage that. Or set your goal to be in minutes or hours instead of words (for those hurting for time). Or lines (for you poetically inclined people). Or pages, if you prefer to see progress that way. It's super flexible and you have no excuse for not having at least attempted it.

What's amazing about it is regardless of the goal you've entered in your settings for Camp NaNoWriMo, if you complete it you can still get the "winner's prizes" at the end of the month.

And what's even more amazing about Camp NaNoWriMo?

After filling out your profile and your project's information you have the option to get sorted into a cabin based on your answers to people who have similar writing tastes as you. Or completely random, if you're into that kind of thing.

Of even make up a cabin with people you know. (Hint, hint.)

There's a communal "shout box" of sorts that you have with your cabin mates, so if you want to ask the other writers for some advice? Feel free to use it. Want to rant about how Starbucks failed to spell your name right on the cup for the umpteenth time as you were just going to sit down and write your novel? Go right on ahead. Got a quote you think would help others? You know the drill.

If any of you guys are interested and want to join my cabin for a month of writing and crying about failing daily word-count quotas with the occasional word of encouragement (and trying to keep up with all the experiments for Creative Writing), you should totally tell me your username for your NaNoWriMo account (though make sure you create your profile and enter information about your novel and keep that bottom box for cabin options unchecked, since those are the requirements for me to send an invite).

Hello, my username is Arelle, and I am a part of cabin "INSERT COOL CABIN NAME HERE." I created a brand new account for this instead using my old account from NaNoWriMos past. None shall see the horror that is my old projects. Muahahahaha!

And don't worry, I can change cabin names. I just hate naming things.

You should totally do it. You're already writing for creative writing, right? Might as well get something extra out of it while you're at it.

Please. I'm so lonely in my cabin. I'm going to end up shoving all the bed bunks together and have my own bed-bunk fortress of loneliness.

And fret not should April come around and you want to join a private cabin. If you ever decide anytime during the month of April that you want to join, cabin administrators (like me) are still able to send out invitations.

EDIT: Just realized that I didn't put a link to Camp NaNoWriMo, for those lazy like me, haha.

Camp NaNoWriMo

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

Word Count Wednesday - 29 March 2017

Things I worked on this week:

Chapter 2 of my fantasy novel: 1839 words

Long journal post thing that I decided to take off my blog: 3230 words

That post detailing my script for my attempt at an audio recording: 913 words

Chapter 6 of my super secret sequel (still in progress): 240 words

Total word count for my week of writing feverishly: 6222 words

What am I working on?

Naturally, I'm working on chapter 3 of my fantasy novel thing, so there's that. I'm also working on the next experiment for class, especially with one of the characters of my fantasy novel since (like his character) he ended up catching me by surprise at how much he's manipulating his way into the story. I think it's a good idea that I figure him out before I continue the plot with him, don't you think? I'm also going to try my hand at one of the forms of poetry detailed in the handout in class today.

It totally escaped my attention for a good few weeks, but I'm going to work on that short story that I ended up not submitting to the Review as a backup. I think now's a good time for me to continue now that I've got a bit more information about how, culturally, my parents feel about the Philippine myth of the manananggal.

Still working on that chapter 6 thing from the list up above. Baby steps. Baby steps.

And now that my love of writing has caught the attention of one of my church members, I've been tasked with writing a short story that is underwater-themed for the Sunday School children. So that's going to be put on my list of projects I'm going to work on this week (if I ever really get to any of them). Just to make things more complicated, I'm making my partner-in-crime create puppets for the characters in the children's story.

How do I feel about the process?

Enjoying it, as always. Except for the poetry part. I need to work on my poetry skills, and I'm despising every moment of it. I'm half-tempted to have my brother or sister write poetry for me and turning it in as my assignment, but that's "academically unacceptable" and "cheating" and "stealing" so... I'm not.

I'm really liking how much I was able to get done last week. Here's to hoping that I'll be able to accomplish the same this coming week.

Also, the fish story (it didn't have to be about fish, but that's what it ended up being) for the children is a huge change and a sigh of relief for me right now. Considering that it's only for the little children, I don't have to impress them with convoluted plot development and turn it in for an assignment. I don't have to venture out into unfamiliar territory to get a story together, doubting my skills as a writer over and over every single time I type out a word.

I know these kids. I know what they like. I know what impresses them (they're easily impressed). I know what satisfies them in a story. And the lesson that needs to be taught within the story is something that spouted out dozens of ideas in my head when I first heard the prompt. I guess this just proves to me that if I know the answer to the question, "Who is your ideal audience?" it makes things a million times easier.

I guess I need to learn that sometimes, simpler is better.

Though, earlier in the week, I injured my wrist. I guess I'm just going to see how that's going to affect my ability to type. I fortunately don't move my wrists much when typing, so I guess not very much. My piano-playing on the other hand... that cuts me deep in my soul.

When it comes to round two at wrangling that horrible vacuum cleaner, I'm going to bring my old karate sparring gloves. I'm not going easy on it this time.

What am I reading?

Umm... nothing this week, sadly. I used up all my reading time to write, and it's likely going to be the case this week. I also spent a good portion of it trying to get that recording I posted on Monday. Dang, if only I knew someone else who was willing to read my script. At least then it wouldn't feel like it ended up being a waste.

I read some news articles, at the very least. But then I stopped because the news tends to make me angry, so then I escape into my made-up world to forget about it. Time will tell if this is an acceptable way of dealing with my problems.

What else am I doing?

In the form of watching things, I guess I'm the weird one out. I don't find watching anything movie or television-show related able to catch my interest. Instead, I'm either playing my piano and getting frustrated (Chopin and his weird penchant to write 22 notes in one measure in his 6/4 time signature--I can't count that in my head, you monster!--freaking Debussy and his lack of logical structure, Mozart and his boring logical structure, Beethoven and his ability to compose the most stupidly complicated things whilst deaf, and don't get me started on whenever I'm requested to play Bach. No. Please, for the love of... just... no. I'd rather bang my head on the keys, thanks), wondering why I didn't decide to go the jazz or rock route but then realizing that my hands are just too tiny for any of that stuff anything piano-related so I just take what I have and roll with it; or sleeping; or doing boring things with Physics; or playing video games (which, I'll admit, eats up way too much of my time best spent being productive).

So yeah, in other words, my life is revolving around writing right now, and so there's nothing else interesting that's worth noting. I'm actually okay with that.