Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Sabotage by Topiary - Experimental Scene Thing (Work in Progress)

For some context, this is just me fooling around with a backstory that didn't make it into the cut of The Blighted Earth, and a character I was hoping to introduce a lot later in the plot. This is very much a work in progress, but I've decided to post it just to get something outside of the draft pile. One day, maybe I'll finish this short-event-in-the-backstory-post. Regardless of whether or not that happens, it helped me with writing the characters in the actual plot.

Monday, August 14, 2017

Word Count Monday - 14 August 2017

This is going to be a shorter post than usual because I should be getting to sleep for the first day of classes tomorrow. But I couldn't because then my brain reminded me that I haven't done this for the week yet and if I didn't I'd just forego sleep altogether.

What am I working on?

Just like last week, I'm not going to be putting a word count. However, this time I've been working on a whole lot of things. I've been working on a short narrative during my emotional slump trying to get it all out. It ended up being told in a sort of disjointed form, a bit experimental on how the scenes are delivered. I'm going to post it here later since I like where it's going, though I'm sure the formatting is going to be a bit off-putting for many. In short, it's an unnatural way of reading things, but it just felt so natural for me to write it that way. Maybe it's because it kinda reflects how my mind goes through thoughts and ideas.

I've also started yet another blog, but this time it's related to the in-game hijinks my online group and I get into in the fictional world our game characters are set in, namely because I'm still the unofficial videographer. I'm a horrible video editor, but I do have experience with writing, so I went that route instead. Once I get things formatted on the other blog, I just might share a link to it. Then again, maybe not.

I've also been writing short scenes to help me plan the overall feel of my future-project-that-is-just-for-fun-but-a-bit-more-serious-than-the-last-one. I've gotten feedback from some of my audience about the little bits and pieces of a world I'm creating (yet again) and how things work and how things are different from the real world. They seem to like it despite it being a lot darker than what I've usually written. I think my current project is aimed more for 12-15 year-olds or something like that, while the future one is going to be more for 17 or 18+.

How do I feel about the process?

I feel like I'm finally getting out of that two-month slog through a marsh. I can breathe easier, my brain is firing on all cylinders again. And because of this, my writing has gone all over the place. While I could barely write anything last time, this time I'm ping-ponging everywhere and I'm not even exhausted. Probably not normal. But considering that I'm absolutely not allowed to have coffee to energize, any bit of excess energy for me to work on anything is great.

This may or may not have something to do with classes starting. Not sure.

What am I reading?

I've looked over some of my textbooks for my new classes and I have so say that I'm trying to pump myself up for it. Part of me is dreading my English class because of my experiences in the past. Funny how I love to write, but I'm terrible at English. The same could be said about how I hate doing math and science, but those are my strongest subjects in school. Life just wasn't meant to be easy, was it?

What else am I doing?

Trying to hype myself up for school. It's not working, but at least I'm not dreading it. I'm still trying to procure a job, too, and all the rejections are still getting me down. But at least my depression won't make it feel like it's the end of the world anymore. I'm so over that. So annoying to deal with.

Saturday, August 5, 2017

Word Count Saturday - 4 August 2017

Oops, forgot to take time out to make a post earlier in the week.

What am I working on?

Well, last week I completed my July Camp NaNoWriMo word count.

It was a meager goal, only 15k words for the month, but considering how much I'm just trying to weather through this rather long bout with my depression (according to my calendar it's almost two months now? Sheesh), I'm not complaining. And despite the lack of motivation, I have been able to come up with the beginnings of another plot idea. I'm going to keep it on the back-burner though. I'll likely work on it when: a) my other projects are done, or b) I get hit with a surge of unending energy and focus and inspiration that I can't keep myself from working on a lot of things at once.

Though, just in case I lose my journal that has all of my ideas (good and bad), I'll leave myself with a one-word reminder: "candlelight."

As for the word count itself... I'm not giving one because for some reason it's just too much effort to load up all the things I worked on and calculate how much I typed out (or not) on top of what's already there. I'm not feeling it this week.

How do I feel about the process?

As a quick preface, I like to imagine an alter-ego of myself living out a representation of my current mood. Like if I'm really happy, I'm imagining her flying around and feeling the breeze around her face. Or when I'm angry and the imaginary world she lives in is breaking into pieces and melting into lava to form a volcano. Weird stuff like that. Dunno, it's just something I've done since I was a child. It's fun.

(Note to self: might need to get that checked. Not sure if that's normal.)

Lately, that alter-ego is just walking in the middle of the night in a cold desert. Sometimes she sees the stars and can point out the constellations. Other times, like at the very second that I'm typing this out, nothing's out and all she is is just lonely and cold.

(Not sure what's up with me and trying to get all symbolic, but I'm getting words out and it's working so I'm not going to question it too much.)

Because of this, I haven't done much writing this week, at least nothing that I feel like bringing up just to get the work count on in and calculate it. It just feels like so much work at the moment.

Then again, it's hard to write when every time you send in an application to try to get a job and after every single rejection letter or rejection call, that evil little voice inside likes to rear its ugly head and say, "See? No one wants you. You're pathetic. You can't even get a minimum-wage job. You're not worth it. Just give it up."

You know what? Shut up, voice. No one asked you.

Ugh, I just want a break from the job hunting. It's seriously affecting my creativity and my poor muse just can't compete.

What am I reading?

Haven't done much reading. Still the same reading list.

What else am I doing?

Still job hunting. Trying to find a part-time job while being a full-time student with other responsibilities is... ce n'est pas amusant. I haven't given up, though. I'm still trying. But I feel like I'm slowly getting there.

O kidy zohjy loaa zudrag og O hry smpyjrt trkrvyopm. O kidy vsm'y yslr oy smuzptr. O sz dp idrardd, O'aa mrbrt szpimy yp smuyjomh.